What is a fantasy? Is it something that you think about when you have a wank, but is impossible to carry out? Do you fancy some famous person or another man that you could never actually meet and get off with? Does the man you dream about actually exist, or is he only in your imagination?

Do you fantasise about a sexual turn-on, that is too dangerous, risky, or illegal to carry through? How about a gang bang by all the members of the local first division football team?

What do you think of being kidnapped, taken somewhere unknown and humiliated? Or is your fantasy certainly possible, but you have never met the right guy in the right situation to do it?

CP features in a lot of SM fantasies; you only have to think how often CP stories appear in porn magazines.

SMers like the idea of one person having ower over another. You might fancy humiliating and punishing a partner by caning him as happened at school. He may always have wanted a good spanking, but, out of context, it may not make a good sexual scene. Indeed, once things are under way, the receiver may deliberately be naughty or insolent, to receive further punishment.


Getting started

How do you carry out your fantasy? You could drop a hint to a friend, without giving too much away, perhaps referring to a bondage and beating scene in a cowboy movie, and see if he responds with a raised eyebrow and a smile. Or a more direct question, asking him if he’s ever used his belt on anybody outside.

You may wish to play a game, with the winner spanking the loser, perhaps the number of strokes matching the final score. The tension for both players will rise, neither knowing who is to be top or bottom until the end. Or perhaps the winner will decide the fantasy to be acted out, no matter how difficult or humiliating it may be.


The real thing

For many people, carrying out a fantasy scene must be done in an authentic manner. If your scene is to punish a service mechanic, who has done a shoddy repair job, do it in the kitchen, with him wearing suitably dirty, greasy overalls, and bending over the offending washing machine.

If it’s a teacher and boy punishment, the top should wear a formal attire and the boy a suitable school uniform. Humiliate him by making him recite the offences and punishments.

Always remember, that in our imagination, both the top and the bottom are likely to exaggerate how much that we can give or take. It is important for both partners to keep an eye on what is happening in the scene, as going beyond limits will ruin the scene, and both will be unhappy and dissatisfied.

Always agree stop words or gestures so that limits can be respected, but otherwise go for it. Develop the idea, get into the roles and you both might just have the time of your lives.


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